Cold Feet
by TogetherWeCanFly
Summary: People fall in love in mysterious ways. Beatrice Prior never expected to fall in love while she was on her way to get her wedding dress. AU Oneshot. Four/Tris. Slightly OOC.


**Summary: People fall in love in mysterious ways. Beatrice Prior never expected to fall in love while she was on her way to get her wedding dress.**

 **Please read and review to let me know what you think! :)**

* * *

My alarm clock blares annoyingly, as it does every morning. I hit the snooze button and groan, as I roll over and lay in the middle of the bed and press my face into my pillow. My fiancee, Robert, is usually gone before I wake up since he has to open the bakery. But if he were here, I know he would already be smiling and telling me not to be so cranky. One of his fatal flaws: he's a morning person.

I sigh, as I begrudgingly push myself into a sitting position. Though I don't have work today, I did promise Susan that I would go looking for a wedding dress with her today. Not only is Susan my friend, but she is also my fiancee's sister and, therefore, my maid of honor. She was so excited that she vowed to help me with every aspect of the wedding, and so far she has kept that promise.

Unfortunately, there is one thing she cannot help me with. She may be my friend, but she is also Robert's sister, which means I cannot tell her that I have been questioning our engagement a lot lately. I know it would be difficult for her to hear that, as his sister, especially since Robert has no idea. I could talk to my other bridesmaids, but I didn't want them to be disappointed in me.

After all, I said, "yes." I knew he loved me, and I found security in that. He was kind and gentle, and he brought peace to my life. Whenever I feel the urge to act impulsively, it is the thought of him that causes me to settle down and act properly. While I have only ever loved Robert as a friend, I decided that if I tried hard enough, I could one day love him the way he loved me.

The alarm clock goes off again, interrupting my thoughts. This time, I turn it off completely and walk over to the closet. I pick out a simple grey sundress and flip-flops so that I will be able to easily take it off and put it back on when I am trying on wedding dresses. I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb through my hair. I decide to leave it loose, and I also put on lip gloss and a thin line of eyeliner so that I will have a better idea of what it will actually look like on the wedding day.

I walk into the kitchen area of our apartment and pick up one of the muffins that Robert brought home from the bakery last night. I have just enough time to finish eating before I hear a knock at the door.

"Hello, Susan," I greet, as I open the door for her.

"Beatrice," she says, smiling at me. "Ready to go?"

I nod my head and pick up my purse from the small table next to the door before closing the door behind me. As we walk, I look at her and realize that she is also wearing grey, though she is wearing a grey blouse and jeans. She looks back at me and smiles again.

"How have you been?" she asks.

"Fine," I say politely. "How's work?"

"Busy as usual," she giggles. "One of my patients bit my finger while I was giving them a cleaning the other day."

I laugh with her, as she finishes telling the story, though I find myself wondering how she manages to stay so entertained when she sits in a dentist's office all day. But her and Robert are similar in that way. They can find pleasure even in the most mundane things.

We continue talking about her work, and eventually mine, as we walk down the street. I tell her about the kids that I see everyday, being careful to leave out their names. As we talk, I remember the beautiful drawing that one of the kids, Amber, made for me. Luckily, it was small enough that I was able to keep it in my wallet.

"That's adorable," Susan says. "Let's see it!"

I smile at her before pulling my purse off my shoulder and reaching in to retrieve my wallet. We begin to turn the corner, just as my hand finds my wallet. Unfortunately, I end up running right into someone, as we turn the corner. I stumble backward, cursing under my breath as I go. I know Susan will have something to say about that later. I bend down to pick up my wallet, which was knocked out of my hand in the process.

"I'm so sorry," the person says.

"Oh, it's fine," I say, as I look up. "I..."

I feel my eyes widen, as I look at the person who bumped into me. His familiar blue eyes seem to widen a bit as well, as he stares back at me. I can sense Susan watching us, confused, but I realize that I'm not ready to look at her and explain yet.

"Tris?"

"Tobias," I say, nodding my head slowly.

The corner of his lips twitches up into a small smile.

"Wow," he says quietly. "You look great."

"Thanks." I mentally curse myself, as I feel a blush creeping up on my face. "You do, too."

Without thinking, I let myself study him for a moment. He looks older, obviously, and more muscular than the last time I saw him. His cropped brown hair is a bit messy, as if he was running his hands through it like he always used to. His jawline is sharper, and I can see faint stubble on it. And his eyes, his deep blue eyes, are the same as I remember them. As we stare back at each other, Susan clears her throat awkwardly, and I finally look at her.

"Oh, uhm... This is Susan," I say, placing my hand on her shoulder. "My friend."

"And your fiancee's sister," she says, giving me an odd look.

"Your fiancee?"

I look at Tobias, as he stares back at me with a surprised expression. For some reason, I find myself speechless for a moment before I finally lift my hand to show him the ring.

"Yeah, I'm engaged now," I say, trying to force a smile, but it doesn't work very well. "We're going to get a dress right now."

"That's... great," he says slowly. "Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from it."

He forces a smile and starts to walk again. And I'm not sure what makes me do it, but I find myself blurting out his name before he can get too far. He turns to look at me, and I take a couple of steps to meet him, also hoping that the small distance will keep Susan from hearing me.

"How long are you here for?" I ask him.

"Well, I just moved back," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "So a while, I suppose."

"Would you want to, maybe, catch up some time?"

He looks at me for a moment, and I can tell that he is still unsure of himself even when he answers.

"Sure."

I reach into my purse and pull out a pen as well as an old, crumpled-up receipt. I scribble down my phone number as quickly as I can manage, hoping that Susan cannot see what I am doing since my back is turned to her. The look on his face still confuses me when he takes the paper from me. We finally separate when he agrees to call me later. Still, even as I walk back to Susan, I still have an odd feeling clinging to me.

"Mind telling me what that was?" she asks, her eyebrows raised.

"Oh," I say, shrugging. "Just an old friend."

She gives me a disbelieving look, as we continue to walk toward the store, and I roll my eyes at her.

"Just a friend, Susan."

* * *

 _"Come on, Tobias!" I hissed, although I knew he could not hear me._

 _I tapped on his window, loud enough for him to hear, but quietly enough that his father would not. He finally looked in my direction and rolled his eyes when I waved at him. We both knew that I would not be able to go in through the front door without his father noticing. Luckily, their home was only one-story. It would have been a lot harder if I had to climb up to his window._

 _He opened up the window for me. I lifted myself onto the window sill and wrapped my arms around his neck as he hoisted me inside. When he put me down, he closed the window behind me and crossed his arms._

 _"You told me you weren't coming tonight," he said quietly, though he didn't really sound mad. "What if I was changing?"_

 _"Then I would have gotten a show," I said, shrugging._

 _He rolled his eyes yet again before sitting down on the side of his bed. I sat down next to him and looked at him for a moment, knowing that what I was about to say was going to upset him. But I knew he would only be more upset if I disappeared without telling him._

 _"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked._

 _"Like what?"_

 _"Like you have bad news."_

 _"Because I do." His features seemed to harden at this. "Well, good news and bad news. The bad news is... I'm moving to a home in a different state."_

 _"What?" he asked, his eyes widening. "What do you mean? Where?"_

 _"Don't act so surprised. You know Jeanine never liked me."_

 _"Yeah, and so what? She can't just get rid of you because she doesn't like you! She needs to have a reason."_

 _"Well, she has a reason." I sighed heavily. "I punched Peter."_

 _"Oh, Tris," he muttered, burying his face in his hands._

 _"He wouldn't leave me alone!" I insisted, though I knew it didn't make a difference. "Look, the point is, this is a blessing in disguise."_

 _"How?" he asked tiredly._

 _"Tobias, your mother has been practically begging you to live with her. I know that I'm the only reason you haven't gone." He rolled his eyes but he said nothing. "I know you hate it here. I'm leaving, Tobias. That means you can leave, too. You can finally get away from him."_

 _He looked at me for a moment, and I found myself unable to look away. He had never looked at me like this, and I couldn't quite figure out what it meant. That is, until his hand found my waist and he pulled me in for a kiss. Of course, we had kissed before this. But this one felt different, more emotional. But I didn't want him to be emotional._ I _didn't want to be emotional._

 _"Let's leave," he said, the second that we separated. "Just you and me."_

 _"What, run away?"_

 _"Why not? It's not like there's anything left for us here." He squeezed my waist a bit. "Let's run away."_

 _"Tobias..." I sighed. "No, we can't."_

 _"Why not?" he repeated._

 _"I'm 16, Tobias! And you're not 18 for another five months! What are we supposed to do until then?" He started to say something, but I stopped him. "Look, it doesn't matter. I just came to tell you that I'm leaving. That's it."_

 _As I stared back at him, I could see the pain that my words were causing him, and I began to feel pained as well. We were both silent for a moment, as he looked away. It seemed as if he was trying to come to terms with this fact, but I could tell that it wasn't easy. As I watched him, I felt an almost instinctual need to say or do something to comfort him. At the thought, I placed my hand on his cheek and turned his face to make him look at me._

 _"You know what?" I whispered._

 _"What?"_

 _"I think, if we're meant to be together, then one day, we'll find each other again," I said, forcing a smile. "I don't think this is goodbye."_

 _"Then, why does it feel like it?"_

 _"Because you're scared," I said._

 _He didn't say anything after that. Instead, he kissed me again. And I nearly cried, knowing that it might be the last, but I held it back because I felt like I needed to be strong. I even made him promise that he would reach out to his mother, seeing as there was no reason for him to stay in Chicago anymore. We said goodbye to each other, and he finally agreed to let me go. We both stood up, and he opened up the window for me. He helped me up to it, and I swung my legs over before looking back at him._

 _"You know, I love you, Tobias."_

 _He smiled a bit, though he looked as if he was on the verge of tears. He nodded his head and took a deep breath._

 _"I know," he said quietly. "I love you, Tris."_

* * *

The first dress was far too baggy for me to walk in. The second was too gaudy. I put on the third dress. It is a more simple dress. It is strapless with with some silver around the waist that leads to the flowing skirt. Luckily, this one is not so puffy that I can't walk in it. Once I have finished, I open up the curtain of my dressing room and walk out. I notice that Susan is no longer there, but Christina, the shop worker who has been helping me, grins at me as soon as she sees me.

"I knew it!" she says, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I knew this one would be perfect on you!"

"Thanks," I say, smiling at her antics. "Hey, is my friend..."

"She said she had to take a phone call," she tells me. "Don't worry, she'll be back. Come over here, let's see what we're working with!"

I walk over to her and stand in front of the mirror. It is only when I look at my reflection that I begin to feel as if I cannot breathe. She was right, it looks perfect. But that's not what hurts.

I'm not convinced that I'm ready to be this beautiful, blushing bride. And then, what comes after? Robert has been so patient because he thinks I'm afraid of intimacy, when really I simply don't have those feelings for him. Surely, people will eventually expect us to have kids, and I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't want to have his kids. I could never tell him that I don't feel that way about him once we are married. He would be heartbroken. I would be obligated to have his children.

 _No_ , I think to myself. I can grow to love him. I can. Can't I?

"Did you turn your hearing aid off or something?" Christina asks, genuinely confused.

"Oh, no. Sorry," I say, shaking my head. "I was just thinking. What did you say?"

She smiles sadly at me. "I said, you don't look very happy."

"No, no, I think it's beautiful-"

"I wasn't talking about the dress."

She looks at me knowingly, and I almost break down right there in the middle of the store. Instead, I take a deep breath and shrug my shoulders.

"I think it's just cold feet," I say unconvincingly.

"Cold feet," she repeats, nodding her head. "You don't love him, do you?"

I can't help but look at her at this. I consider lying, but it seems that she already knows the truth. I glance around to make sure Susan is not within earshot before I respond.

"I do love him. Just not the way he loves me."

"You know, since I've started working here, I've met a lot of women in the same position as you," she says, smoothing down my dress. "I get it. You don't want to break his heart. Everybody is expecting a wedding, you don't want to let them down. But you're not helping anyone by going through with this if you're not happy."

"No, I'm sure I can eventually love him that way, I just-"

"You hear that?" She says, looking up at me sadly. "Eventually? When is eventually? How long are you willing to be unhappy?"

"I don't know."

"Well... You'd better figure it out." She sighs. "Because nobody is going to be happy with this arrangement. He's going to find out. I mean, I found out and I've only just met you. It's going to hurt him even more if you go through with this and he finds out you never wanted to. If you can't think of yourself, then at least think about him."

I stare back at her wordlessly, mostly because I am afraid that I will cry if I try to speak. After a moment, I see Susan walking back in. Christina looks at me sadly before fixing my dress again.

"Sorry about that," Susan says, smiling. "You know how much my mother likes to talk!"

"No problem," I say, forcing a smile. "What do you think?"

"You look..." She raises her hands as if she is looking for the right word. "Breathtaking!"

"She does, doesn't she?" Christina says, looking at me. "But I think, if you're not absolutely in love with it, you should keep looking. Because who knows, you might use all your money on this one, and then later, you'll find the one you really want, but it'll be too late."

I bite my lip, hoping that Susan still thinks we are talking about the dress. Christina raises an eyebrow at me, and I simply shake my head at her.

"No need to keep looking," I say. "This one is fine."

Christina says nothing to this. She simply nods her head, as Susan goes on about how it's perfect for me and how I should absolutely buy it.

* * *

"A little bird told me that you found a dress today," Robert says happily, as he walks into the apartment.

"Let me guess," I say, as I continue to chop some vegetables for dinner. "Susan?"

"Don't be mad at her, you know she's just excited."

He walks into the kitchen and kisses the back of my head before going to get himself a cup of water. The movement makes me freeze, though I am not sure why. I have always felt a bit uncomfortable when Robert shows affection to me, but never this much. Luckily, he doesn't seem to notice, as he is focused on the water, so I quickly go back to chopping. Eventually, he places the empty glass in the sink and starts to walk away.

"I'm going to take a shower," he tells me.

"All right," I reply, forcing a smile.

I continue preparing dinner normally until I hear the water from the shower turn on. I stop at the sound and hold onto the edge of the counter to steady myself and take a deep breath. Just as I am about to continue cooking, I hear my phone go off on the other end of the counter. When I open up the message, I find myself smiling, as I feel a rush of happiness that I haven't felt in a very long time.

* * *

I stare down at the cup in my hands. I've been holding it for some time, but I've only managed to take a few sips. I look up at Tobias, who is sitting across the table from me, as he takes a sip of his own coffee.

"It still feels a little weird," he says, looking out the window in front of our table. "Being back here again."

"Yeah," I sigh, as I look out as well. "I really thought neither of us would ever be here again."

"So you lied."

"What?"

"You lied." He smirks at me. "You told me that you thought we would see each other again."

"That wasn't a lie. I did think we would see each other again. Just not here."

He chuckles, and I can't help but smile, as I think about how much I missed the sound. For quite some time, we simply sit there talking and drinking coffee. We talk about how we ended up back here, the friends we've made, what we do for work. I tell him that I am a school counselor, and he tells me that he is a personal trainer, though he said he used to have a job in security that he enjoyed as well.

Eventually, it becomes more meaningful. I talk about the home that I was sent to. He talks about his mother, who ended up being just as much of a nightmare as his father, just in a different way. We talk about everything and anything. But eventually, we end up talking about the one thing that I was hoping we wouldn't. We talk about us.

"You know, I always hoped I would see you again," he says, as we walk down the sidewalk. At some point during our conversation, we both seemed to get tired of sitting around at the same time and decided to go for a walk instead. "But I have to be honest. I wasn't hoping to see a ring on your finger when I finally saw you again."

 _I wasn't either,_ I think to myself.

I immediately scold myself mentally for the thought. Still, I say nothing because I am not sure what I could say. I cannot apologize because that would imply that I did something wrong by accepting Robert's proposal. After we have walked in silence for a moment, he gently grabs my wrist and pulls me aside. I look up at him, surprised, as he stares back down at me.

"Do you love him?" he asks suddenly.

"Of course," I say weakly.

"The way you loved me?"

 _Loved._ It hurts that he says it, as though it is a thing of the past. But I know that I cannot say that. I know that I shouldn't even be thinking it. The way that he is looking at me tells me that he already knows the answer to his own question.

"I'm sure I can," I mutter.

He stares at me for a moment, and I begin to feel ashamed all over again. Not only because I have openly admitted, once again, that I do not return Robert's feelings, but also because I have admitted it to the one person I have ever felt those feelings for.

"Why are you marrying him if you don't-"

"I don't expect you to understand."

"Understand what? Why are you doing this?" he asks exasperatedly.

"You were gone," I say before I can stop myself. When he looks back at me sadly, I begin to feel sixteen again. I begin to feel the same way I felt when I had to explain to him that I was leaving. "And I... I knew that I would never feel that way about anyone else. But Robert is sweet, and I know he loves me, and maybe one day I can-"

"Stop saying that. Marrying him won't make you love him. Not while you still love me." I look at him, surprised, and he just shakes his head. "Don't give me that look. I know you, Tris. Ever since we ran into each other, you've been looking at me exactly the way you used to look at me before you left."

"That doesn't mean..." I sigh, deciding not to even try. He can always tell when I'm lying. "It doesn't matter, Tobias."

"Of course it matters," he says urgently. "You still love me, I know you do. And I still love you. That's _all_ that matters."

There is silence for a moment before he gently takes my hands in his. I look up at him, as he stares back at me with a pained expression. I find myself mesmerized by his familiar deep blue eyes. The eyes that I missed for all these years.

I become so entranced that I barely realize that his eyes are coming closer and closer. I don't notice until they're closed. And by the time I notice, it's too late. By the time I notice, Tobias is already kissing me, and I am already kissing him back.

I feel heat rush through my entire body just like it did when he used to kiss me. I feel something ignite within me. My body wakes up for him. Only for him.

I only come to my senses when I feel my phone go off in my pocket. Guilt eats away at me. I know that is must be Susan or Robert, since they are the only ones who have really been texting and calling me as of late. As the thought enters my head, I begin to feel extremely guilty for what I am doing. I pull away from Tobias abruptly, and he looks at me, confused. The confusion on his face turns to concern when my eyes begin to tear up. He reaches for me again, but I shake my head and step away from him.

"Tris-"

"No, Tobias," I say, wishing my voice would stop shaking. "I'm sorry, I can't."

My feet carry me away from him before he can stop me. I feel his eyes on me, as I rush away from him. The feeling goes away when I turn the corner. But the guilt of what I have done never stops eating at me.

* * *

This is it.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, as Myra fixes my dress for me. I asked the other bridesmaids as well as Susan, my maid of honor, to give us some time alone. Susan seemed a bit confused, but luckily she obliged.

I figured that having some time with just Myra would help to calm my nerves, since she is the calmest of my bridesmaids. Unfortunately, she also knows me better than the others since she was my foster sister for my last couple of years in foster care. I almost made her my maid of honor, but she was too worried that it would upset Susan. She has always been pretty humble.

As I stare at myself in the mirror, in my white dress with my hair and makeup done, I start to feel tears prickling at my eyes. I take a deep breath and blink them back before Myra comes to stand in front of me. She smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but I can tell by the concerned look on her face that it wasn't convincing enough.

"Are you all right, Tris?" she asks. I simply nod my head at her, afraid that I will start to cry if I speak. "Cold feet?"

"Yeah," I finally say, my voice coming out as a whisper. I clear my throat and shrug. "I'm a little nervous, but it's okay."

"What's making you nervous?"

I bite my lip, as she takes my hands in hers. I have the feeling that she can read my mind. That she knows what is bothering me even without me telling her. Still, I know that she is still waiting to hear the answer from me.

"I'm just scared to get married," I lie. "I don't know what it's going to be like."

"Well, marriage _is_ tough," she smiles sadly, and I can tell by the way she is looking at me that she knows that I am hiding something. "But... If you both love each other, then it will always work out."

She raises her eyebrow slightly, and although she is not saying it, I know that she is insinuating that she knows the real reason behind my nerves. Still, I wouldn't dare to admit that I don't love the man that I am marrying. Just minutes before I am set to marry him.

"Could I have a few minutes alone?" I ask.

She smiles sadly before nodding her head at me. She lets herself out and leaves me alone in the room. I lower my eyes, knowing that I will cry if I look at my reflection in the mirror. But apparently, it doesn't matter. When I look down at my white dress, I feel the tears coming back. A strangled sob escapes my mouth, as a couple of the tears escape my eyes. As the reality of what I am about to do sets in.

I wrap my arms around my own torso, as tears stream down my cheeks. I know that they will be upset with me for ruining my makeup when they come back in, but I don't care. As I stand there, crying quietly so that nobody outside the room will overhear me, my mind wanders back to Tobias. I find myself thinking about the kiss. How I felt more for him that one day than I have felt for Robert the entire time that we have been together.

My eyes wander to the window, and I find myself thinking of all the times that I would climb through Tobias' window at night to see him. Some nights, to comfort him after his father had gotten through with him. Some nights, it was simply to sit with him, to kiss him, talk to him, lay with him. Things were never simple for us. But at least, they were simpler than they are now. And I find myself wishing I was sixteen again so that I could simply lay with him and not have to worry about anything or anyone else.

I open the window up, realizing that I want to do it now. I want to feel the window sill under my legs, as I climb over it. I want to feel that more than anything, because that is what always led me to him. Another sob escapes me, as I stand there, my hands clasped onto the window sill.

I know that I cannot do this. I know that I will start crying the minute the priest starts talking. I know that I am going to let everyone down, one way or another.

Before I can even process what is happening, I have gathered the skirt of the dress in my hands and climbed over the window sill. I look around, making sure that nobody is out here, before my feet begin to carry me away from the church, faster and faster.

I don't know what I hope to accomplish by doing this. In fact, none of my thoughts are really making sense. All I know is that for once, for the first time since Robert proposed to me, I finally feel free. I run through the nearby park, knowing that nobody will come to look for me here. And even if they do, the entire walkway is covered with trees, so they are less likely to see me. Finally, I collapse on one of the benches, my skirt spilling out around me. I ignore the looks from the scattered people walking or jogging by, as I rest my elbows on my knees.

Another sob escapes my mouth, only this time it is accompanied by a strange surge of happiness. Soon, I will have to face my friends and Robert's family. I will have to face Susan, Robert, and so many more. Soon, my guilt will consume me for what I have done.

But now- right now- I am free.

"Tris?"

I look up, tears still streaming down my face, only to find myself looking back at the deep blue eyes that have been haunting my mind. I assume that he was just going for a run, as he is dressed in a T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers and there is a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. Ironically, he has never looked more perfect to me. And for once, I don't feel guilt bite at me as soon as the thought enters my head.

"Tobias," I croak out.

He kneels down in front of me, concern etched on his face. I try to look down so that he can't watch me cry, but it seems that he knelt in front of me because he already knew that I planned to do this. Since I cannot look down, I find myself just staring back at him, as the tears stream down.

"What's going on?" he asks finally. "Why are you out here... in your wedding dress?"

"You said you know me, Tobias." I laugh humorlessly. "You should know that I run when I'm scared."

"I didn't want to assume," he sighs, as he reaches up to wipe the tears off my face. "Tris, you can't do this. You can't just run away."

"Yes, I can. You're right, I can't love him. Not while I love you, and I know I'm not going to stop loving you." I place my hand over his to keep it resting on my cheek, as I shudder. "I can't marry him when all I think about is you."

He smiles sadly at me, as his thumb strokes my cheek. I close my eyes for a moment, appreciating his touch. There is silence for a moment besides the sound of my crying before he finally speaks.

"Tris, you know that I love you," he says softly. "But this isn't fair to him. You can't just run away like this. You and I both know it's not fair to him. You need to go back and talk to him."

I feel fear course through me just at the thought of going back and having to face everyone. Still, I know that he is right. I know that Robert is a great person, and he deserves better than this. I nod my head slowly and take a deep breath.

"Would you come with me?" I ask, my voice shaking out of fear now.

"I think it'd be best for you to do this alone," he says, stroking my cheek one more time before he stands up. "I know that you can. And when you do, you know where to find me."

I stand up as well and nod my head at him before wiping my face one more time to make sure all of the tears are gone. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he hesitates for a moment before returning the embrace. Though I find myself wishing I could just stay standing in his arms, I force myself to pull away after a moment, knowing that I need to get back. I say goodbye to him before I take a deep breath and start walking back in the direction of the church. I can feel his eyes following me just like last time. But this time, it gives me strength.

* * *

"Honestly, Beatrice!"

That is the first thing that comes from Susan's mouth when she sees me. Susan and Myra rush over to me, though it is mostly Susan that is commenting on my ruined makeup and messed-up dress. As Susan pulls me into the center of the room where I had been getting ready, Myra watches me. It always amazes me how she can look shocked and knowing at the same time, but I try not to focus on it.

"Susan, stop," I say, as she tries to pat the dirt off of my dress. "I need to talk to Robert."

"You can talk to him after," she says, frustrated. "And maybe then, you can explain where you went off to while we were all waiting-"

"Susan!" She stops and looks at me, surprised. "I need to talk to Robert right now."

"It's..." She looks at me, as if she has just realized what is happening. "It's bad luck."

"Susan, come on," Myra says, as she gently takes Susan's hand and starts leading her to the door. "It's all right."

When the door closes behind them, I take a deep breath to steady myself. I sit down in one of the chairs in front of the mirror, still afraid to look at my reflection. This time, for different reasons. I suck in a breath, as the door opens, and Roberts walks in slowly with a smile on his face. The smile disappears when he looks at me. He rushes over and sits down next to me.

"Beatrice, what happened to you?" he asks, as he takes one of my hands.

I hesitate for a moment, as I look down at our hands. But I realize that I do not have it in me to pull my hand away. I find myself hoping that it will give him some comfort through what I am about to say.

"I... went for a walk."

"In your wedding dress?" he asks incredulously.

"I just... I didn't feel ready. I'm not ready." He looks at me sadly, and I look down at my lap. "Robert, I'm sorry. But I don't think I can marry you."

There is silence for a moment before I hear him let out a sigh.

"I know." I look up, surprised, but now he is the one looking down. "Or, well, I had a feeling. Beatrice, you know that I love you. But I always had this feeling that were... I don't know. Uncomfortable?" He looks up at me and sighs, and I bite my lip, as I realize that his eyes are tearing up now. "I wanted to believe that you loved me, too, but I think I always knew that you didn't."

"I do love you, Robert, just..."

"Just not the way I love you," he finishes.

"I'm so sorry," I barely whisper.

"Beatrice, it's okay," he says, smiling sadly at me. "I forgive you. You know I love you. I just want you to be happy. And if marrying me won't make you happy then..." He clears his throat, a pained expression on his face. "Then don't."

I stare back at him, unsure of how to respond, as tears begin to cloud my own eyes again. We both look around, as we hear a knock on the door, that I am guessing is Susan. Though at this point, it could be anyone who is tired of waiting. He looks at me and smiles sadly again.

"Don't worry about it," he says, patting my hand. "I'll take care of it. I'll let them all know that it's cancelled."

"You don't have to," I say, standing up. "I can-"

"Beatrice." He stands up at well, releasing my hand. "I'll take care of it."

"Okay," I say hesitantly.

He looks at me one more time before leaning down to place a kiss on my forehead. When he pulls back, I feel my heart break at the look on his face. But he doesn't let it last for long before he forces one more smile.

"Goodbye, Beatrice," he says softly.

I nod my head in understanding, as he turns away and starts walking toward the door.

"Goodbye, Robert."

* * *

I move about my apartment, trying to make sure that everything is in its place. At first, when Robert moved out, the place felt haunted. I could barely sleep, knowing that I was completely alone in it. But now, two years later, it feels so much more like home now that it only contains my things. As I make sure everything is clean and in its place, I hear my phone go off. I look at it to see that it is a text from Robert, wishing me a happy birthday. I smile a little, as I text back a "thank you."

About a year after the wedding that never happened, I heard from Robert again. Being the forgiving soul that he is, he told me that he wanted us to be friends again, even if we could never be anything more than that. While our new relationship has never consisted of anything more than small talk and birthday texts, it still makes me happy that he is willing to be a part of my life after everything that happened between us.

I look at the time on my phone and realize that I still have some time before everyone gets here. I go into my bedroom to get dressed and fix my hair. I also apply a bit of makeup so that Christina won't whine when she sees that I am not wearing any.

It turns out that one of Tobias' friends from work, Zeke, was friends with Christina. The first time Tobias brought me to one of Zeke's parties, I recognized her immediately, and she recognized me. She looked down at mine and Tobias' interlocked hands questioningly, and I had to explain to her what happened. She was overjoyed by the time I finished telling her everything.

"I told you," she had said. And I had rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but smile too.

I was beyond relieved that Tobias' friends had taken a liking to me. Ever since the wedding, all of my friends, including Susan of course, took Robert's side even after he told them repeatedly that he didn't want anyone taking sides. In any case, Myra is the only one who still talks to me, though she is usually busy with her husband, Edward. It feels good to have friends that I can actually spend time with again, especially since these friends are so much more fun than my old ones.

There is a knock at the door just as I have finished applying the makeup.

"Coming!" I yell, as I hurry for the door.

When I open it, I can't help but smile, as I come face to face with Tobias. He smiles as well, as he hands me a bouquet of flowers that I didn't even realize he was holding.

"Happy birthday," he says, as I take it from him. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." I take his hand and pull him inside so that I can close the door. "You're early, you know. Not even Uriah is here yet."

Zeke's brother, Uriah, went to culinary school, and now he works as a cook at an amazing restaurant called Dauntless. All of them wanted to do something for my birthday, but I have never really been one to celebrate it, so Uriah finally came up with the compromise of making a meal for us in my apartment so that we could all be together without having to go out. He also agreed to make his own version of the restaurant's famous chocolate cake, which is a plus.

"Well, I had to get here early," he says, as I walk into the kitchen area to put the flowers on the counter. "I had to make sure I would be the first to give you your birthday kisses."

I lean back against the counter and raise an eyebrow at him, as he smirks back at me.

"I'm pretty sure nobody else it going to be giving me birthday kisses," I chuckle.

"Yeah, they'd better not."

A giggle escapes my lips, as he hoists me up so that I am sitting on the counter with him standing between my legs. He places his hands on my hips, and I rest my hands on either side of his face. I am still smiling when he presses his lips to mine. My thumb skims over his cheek, as he kisses me softly yet so lovingly that it makes my head spin. He pulls away moments later and smiles at me before gently kissing the tip of my nose.

"I love you," he says.

I bite my lip to keep myself from grinning like a Cheshire cat. As I look back at him, I know in my heart that I made the right choice. Getting here was not easy. But I would do it all over again, only for him. Because he is the first man I ever truly loved. He is the only man I have ever loved. And I know, every time I look at him, kiss him, or lay with him, that I want him to be the last.

"I love you, too."


End file.
